Commander and Chief

We decided before Isabelle was born that we would continue to travel as we had before and just bring her with us. On one of our first trips abroad after she was born we broke that rule. We went to Hamburg for work for the first time then down to Bavaria and into Austria. The Germans are very family oriented and it just killed us, especially Melissa to not have her there. So ever since then, except once, she has accompanied us.

At 3.5 years old she has been to three foreign countries (France twice and Amsterdam), San Francisco, Las Vegas, Lamar (her first snow at 3 months), Denver, Colorado Springs, New Orleans, and a few other places as well. As we write this blog I thought we can add some insight on traveling with children from what we have learned ourselves and seen from other families trying to do the same.

Never expect to see half as much as what you would as a couple. (This was especially hard for me, the engineer, who travels with a list of "to see" items.. but I have learned through Isabelle and Melissa that there are even more valuable things to experience when you slow down!) A slower pace may sound disappointing at first, but it is a true blessing in disguise. So relish in the slower pace.

When in Paris, you won't see all the museums and cafes you would want or even the nightlife, but how many times can you see the neighborhood playgrounds and parks. Strolling through the enormous, breath taking city parks (just like a local) is by far one of our favorite memories. In fact, Isabelle's first kiss was in Luxembourg Park in the middle of Paris. She had managed to find a boy her age (2 years old) from D.C. Needless to say, they hit it off! You will find that going at a slower pace allows you to "live like a local" thus your experience is much deeper and greater than if you were to simply be an "on the go" tourist.

Pick one or two things a day YOU HAVE TO SEE, then let the rest just unfold. Schedule (loosely) your day around your child's energy levels. For us, Isabelle was much more tolerant in the mornings and early afternoons; perfect for visiting museums, cathedrals etc. The afternoons were then dedicated to "what would be fun for a toddler"?! We typically hit a park, zoo or playground after lunch when she was ready to be "free" and run out all of the pent up energy. This also helped her wind down in the evening.

The biggest lesson is to give yourself time for meltdowns or stubborn moments. Without the "rushed" pace, it's much easier to deal with an over-extended child. If you aren't anxious, your child won't be anxious. This also means being able to change things up on a dime. If something isn't working at the moment, like your toddler refusing to obey the "inside voice rule" in the middle of Notre Dame Cathedral, allow yourself to make a quick and seamless exit and try it again later or take turns with your spouse or other family members going inside. There were a number of places where we (myself, Melissa and my mother in-law Karen, would take turns staying outside with Isabelle while the others went in to see a museum, cathedral, store etc). Again hard for an anal retentive clipboard holder such as my self, but we are all adapting;)

Dinners out? It has to be really casual or nothing. Typically, by the end of the day everyone is too tired to be polite and obey "restaurant manners" regardless of the amount of electronic gadgets and games you've brought to entertain your child. Therefore, use the time to explore local grocery stores, meat and fruit markets or even take out food and just VEG out! Some of the absolute best meals we've had came from food vendors, food markets or local grocery stores. If there is a language barrier that makes you shy away from these types of food vendors, pointing and smiling always works well!

Which brings me to another thing, instead of hotel rooms, try to rent a house or apartment. We use homeaway.com and vrbo.com (there are many others but these are two we trust). We have also used "Gites de France" which was great as well. You will almost always save money as well as a waste line as you eat more meals "in" than "out". Breakfast at the house, lunch out, dinner in most of the time. This also gives the kids plenty of time to run around, you and your partner YOUR OWN room (privacy on a vacation??!, who knew?) and it also brings you face to face with the customs of the country.

Houses/apartments are generally not in the middle of touristy areas (typically not a bad thing, less crowds, less noise and less money). You will be able to explore local supermarkets, food stands and specialty food shops. What a better way to immerse yourself into the customs. Once you start renting places you won't look back. Now I realize that light cooking and cleaning may not sound ideal for a vacation but have no fear, like the U.S. you can always find pre-made meals/food and/or take out in the local grocery stores, specialty food shops and restaurants. In addition, many of the homes/apartments will offer a cleaning service for a fee if you so choose.

Give yourself time to play like a kid!! Wherever we go, we always find a place to buy bouncy balls or other easy to transport games and toys. Then when we come upon a great park or playground, we have an activity in place for the little one. (this is also a great photo op!!) This does require that you set aside time to play, even if it is at the house/apartment. Also, kids are the greatest communicators regardless of the local language. Kids have no qualms walking up to a group of "foreign" kids to play together. It's an awesome sight to watch your kids break language barriers and play with others. They are the greatest ice breakers on your travels.

Balloons- easy to pack, fun to play with, can be left behind and make virtually NO noise when playing with them. Great for a hotels and apartments! (This priceless suggestion came from my mother in law.. it saved us from a number of possibly "bored" kid moments in Amsterdam and France)

Invest in the FAA approved harness (seat belt for the little ones on plane rides) for toddlers if your child is 3 or younger. It is a life saver. (and can restrain any crabby, tired, restless child..your flight attendants and fellow passengers will thank you!)

It does not have to be Disneyland all the time. In fact, we rarely plan trips simply around kids attractions. It's important to make what could be seen as a "boring" trip fun for kids. Focus on things that you, as an adult, wouldn't normally focus on. For instance, when visiting massive cathedrals or castles, relate it to some fairytale or adventure. Point out all of the "stairs" that you can "race up" or all the "flowers" that you can smell and count. Take the time to see the world as your child does.

Some of the best times Isabelle has had have been in zoos, gardens at famous castles/chateaus or playgrounds around Europe. We found a butterfly garden in Alsace, France a couple years ago where she could run around and immerse herself in butterflies. She was in heaven. She also loves merry-go-rounds... I think we hit all of them in the Alsace and Burgundy region of France.

As a traveler you quickly realize that there ARE children all over the world, thus there will always be places to go that will entertain and amaze them. It may take some additional research, but it's worth it! And don't be afraid to ask the locals. If you are renting a house or apartment, ask the owner. They will typically know where the local parks, zoos, playgrounds, merry go rounds etc are located. And many of the houses/apartments will provide child necessities such as cribs, highchairs, booster seats and even toys.

Finally, pack toys, activities and books/dvds for any plane/train rides, evenings "in" and any meals out. Making your child comfortable and entertained will pay off in dividends. While traveling with children requires adaptation from both parents and children, set yourself and your child up for success! We do expect a lot from Isabelle on our adventures, but we realize that she also expects a lot from us. It's a give and take relationship that requires empathy, patience and a light-hearted attitude. If I've learned nothing else, I've learned that you have to be able to make the best out of the worst situations and definitely be able to laugh at yourself because inevitably the best laid plans do NOT going accordingly!